My Testimony

In first grade, my teacher Mrs. Hanche, gathered us in a circle on the floor and read the story of Jesus. Towards the end, she invited anyone who wished to welcome Jesus into their heart to pray with her. Despite my young age, I felt a pull on my heart to join in that prayer, and it's a decision I've never regretted.

Reciting memory verses to my dad unexpectedly led to his salvation, a truly powerful transformation that reshaped his life. His intense and incredible story, greatly influenced my upbringing and faith. I hope he shares his testimony here one day. His example taught me to engage with God daily, fostering a deep trust and understanding from a young age, as I saw firsthand what God did through my dad.

That said, my life wasn't all bunnies and roses. I grappled with ongoing struggles and faced frightening situations. As a child, I was painfully shy and introverted, yet thrust into an overwhelmingly extroverted and social environment. My anxiety was so profound that it led to hair loss and chronic stomach pains, leaving me in a perpetual state of feeling overwhelmed. I kept it all to myself due to my shyness, confiding only in God. Reflecting back, I'm immensely grateful that, even at a young age, I had God as a trusted confidant.

Shortly after becoming a Christian, a man drove up to me and my little sister as we were walking to our neighbors house, just a few feet away. He asked us to get in the car to help him look for his lost cat. The Holy Spirit told me something was wrong and I grabbed my sisters hand and ran to our house. I've told this story many times to my kids in order to make them aware.

At the tender age of ten, I matured early, drawing undesired attention. Regrettably, a friend's older brother took advantage of me. Luckily, by God's grace, my friend's mother intervened, preventing things from escalating further. Nevertheless, this experience deeply affected me, setting me on an emotional spiral.

Since then, I encountered a whole new world I hadn't known existed. I became acutely aware of my appearance and overly sensitive to others' perceptions of me. It felt like I was thrown into a world fixated on appearances and hyper-sexualization. 

As I grew older, things escalated due to what was deemed 'normal' at school. Despite my innocent relationships, I faced daily taunts and name-calling, being unfairly branded a 'slut' and mocked for my curvier body. Girls were brutal.  I vividly remember an older girl cruelly remarking that I was "like a doorknob, everyone gets a turn." 

My maiden name was Lovingood and older boys would call me “Goodlovin”. I tried to put on a brave face, laughing off the insults, but inside, every cruel word chipped away at my sense of worth. Some might dismiss it as typical teasing, but each night, I found myself in tears, dreading the next day's confrontation. The pain ran deep, leaving me feeling unworthy, wishing to avoid facing the following day, but after praying each night God reminded me I was His and gave me people to encourage me, giving me courage to face the next day. 

At thirteen, during a friend's birthday party at an Oceanside beach cottage, we shared an upstairs room, greeting passersby from our window. Unexpectedly, one individual's response turned distressing as he circled the house, engaging in a disturbing act at our window. Terrifying as it was, my friend's mom promptly called law enforcement, leading to the man's arrest. Through that experience, God showed His protection and emphasized the importance of vigilance and awareness of our surroundings.

During my freshman year in high school, boys pulled up my shirt and pulled down my pants in P.E. A junior girl advised me to retaliate by punching them if it happened again. Surprisingly, that junior girl is now my sister-in-law; I wonder if she recalls giving me that advice. Soon after this incident, rumors spread in the boys' locker room about a football player planning to assault me. A male childhood friend alerted me to this. I confided in my parents this time, and they decided to remove me from that school. I learned how to seek help, and am grateful for that friend who spoke up for me. 

Soon after moving into a new house, a neighbor knocked on our door, alerting us that she had seen a man lurking in the bushes outside our home. These bushes were right in front of our bathroom. He was spying on us, watching while we showered and more. Before this, I had no idea what a peeping Tom was. The fear and impact were so intense that I couldn't sleep at night and felt uneasy being home alone. As a result, we decided to move once again. Looking back, I see a pattern of how Satan used my early development and experiences to attack me, but he discounted my strength from God. 

During that period, I felt God's presence, a sense of protection, realizing how much worse those situations could have been.

At fifteen, volleyball practices were so intense that I fainted. Diagnosing the issue took some time, leading to beta blockers. Disliking their effects, I decided to quit sports. While the condition still affects me, I've learned its warning signs and can exercise without triggering it. Once, it occurred while I was driving, and I have no clue how I got home—truly, it was all God.

At nineteen, an out-of-wedlock pregnancy brought shame and whispers that made me feel like a failure. In deep depression, I turned to God, and remarkably, this moment became my greatest blessing—my daughter. God enveloped me with support and gifted me a loving husband who stood by us. I'll never forget the moment the nurse placed my daughter in my arms; her tears ceased, and an overwhelming sense of unconditional love washed over me. I understood God’s love a little better that day. 

When my daughter was a month old, my husband was deployed to Iraq. The fear was constant, and I moved back to my parents' house for support. However, both of them had demanding jobs, making it a tough time for us all. I recall my dad leaving work once to help soothe my crying daughter, later realizing it was just gas. Nights were sleepless; every cry from my daughter prompted me to quickly calm her without disturbing anyone else in the house. My family was supportive, but my sister was my rock, offering immense help and unwavering support. Scott's parents and brother were also there for me. This phase turned out to be a time of growth, independent decision-making, and much needed healing with my family.

Shortly after Scott’s return from Iraq, our next incredible blessing entered our lives - my son. I feel immensely grateful that God gave me the privilege to parent these exceptional individuals. The separation during our initial year of marriage felt unusual, and the following fifteen years became a journey of learning - about marriage, parenting, and the twists of life. We fit the mold of a typical middle-class family, with a lovely home, a well-stocked pantry, a full garage, and a calendar brimming with activities. Despite appearances, the Holy Spirit was telling me something was wrong.

Through constant prayers, God faithfully answered, granting us the chance to live in a simple home on wheels. Our possessions may be modest, yet they meet our needs and exceed our expectations. This period, a Sabbath year, was exactly what my family required. It leads to my husband's testimony, a story I hope he shares here one day. God intervened, rescuing him, our marriage, and our family during this transformative year.

My marriage stood on the edge of collapse, endangering my children's stability. In that critical moment, an unexplainable  grace and forgiveness, beyond my own understanding, flooded me. The years of dedication—study, prayer, and journaling—culminated in that moment, resulting in a response that wasn't of me, but of God. I was shown the essence of a genuine marriage—a union of two flawed individuals striving to support each other in their relationship with God. My expectations faded, replaced by nothing but love and grace.

We invested our efforts in reading, studying, conversing, and praying several times a day.

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Our marriage now thrives on our united support, prayers, and deeper connection, all by God's transforming hand. I learned that expectations pave the path to resentment and recognized how my need to control fueled my anxiety. Parenting taught me to pray for God's guidance in meeting my children's needs and using my mistakes for their good. I'm learning to see people simply as people and I'm stepping out of my shyness, realizing I might be the only picture of Jesus someone encounters today. My faith grows daily, and I've come to terms with not being perfect. I pray I'll never grow too comfortable or complacent.

My life seemed uncomplicated compared to others, making me feel like I had little to share. But my husband encouraged me to open up. My testimony isn't one big event; it's a journey where God supported me through struggles, boosted my confidence, helped me through anxiety, and fulfilled my heart's desires. I hope by sharing my testimony, it encourages you to share yours. What's your story?

I challenge  you to pen down your testimony this week, organize your thoughts, and then have the humility to be vulnerable and the courage to share your story.

Listen to “ That’ll Preach”  by Zach Williams

Bible verse

1 Peter 3: 15-16 NLT

Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your hope as a believer, always be ready to explain it. 16 But do this in a gentle and respectful way.[a] Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ.

Let's Pray

Heavenly Father,

May our testimonies make a difference in the world. Grant us the desire, the opportunities, and the words to share them. Help us to view others as You do, humbling ourselves without thinking ourselves better than anyone. We recognize that it's by grace and faith alone that we are saved, not by our own merit, and for this, we give You all our praise.

In Jesus' name, Amen.

I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences, feel free to leave a comment below.

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